Heh! The National Review has published a piece on that piece by that piece Dan Brown. Take a look and be prepared to chortle!
"A telephone is ringing in the darkness — a tinny, unfamiliar ring. I fumble for the bedside lamp and turn it on. Squinting at my surroundings I see a plush Renaissance bedroom with exquisite Louis IX furniture, hand-frescoed walls, and a mahogany four-poster bed with a person in it, who is me, Dan Brown, the master storyteller and a bestselling author whose talent for dialogue and depth of characterization exceed even Tom Clancy at his finest. The jacquard bathrobe hanging on the bedpost bears the monogram: HOTEL RITZ PARIS..."
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to join Opus Dei. But then you knew that, didn't you?